Quiche her?! I hardly know her!

Egg pie

Lets get real – I think I’m hilarious.  A quiche pun? C’mon!

A few months ago I visited a friend I’ve known for about 15 years.  Ugh.  How have I been alive long enough to know someone for 15 years.  Of course, I was like, in junior highschool when I met her, but this makes me feel hip-achingly old.  Anyway, I visited her and her gorgeous family in their gorgeous new home. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous.  She used her amazing state of the art kitchen to make us dinner while I entertained her brilliant handsome little boys playing ‘Prisoner of War’ – aka trapping them underneath a laundry basket and sitting on it so they can’t get out.

I’ve been craving this quiche ever since that night, because seriously, one bite of it and I was ready to move into her house and live there forever.  She’s beautiful and quite positively the most upbeat positive person I have in my life.  So of course she’s thin and radiant and can eat a quiche made of eggs, whole milk, fatty breakfast sausage, and about a pound of cheese.  Just thinking of that makes me barf.  (Should I mention barf on a baking/cooking blog?  Probably not.  My bad.)

Anyway, I lightened this up to a tolerable level and its still amazingly delicious!!

Golden crust and toasty cheese? Yes please.

Serves: 4

Recipe:

2 whole eggs

1/2 cup liquid egg whites

1/4 cup skim milk

1/3 cup cheddar cheese

1/4 cup diced red onion

4 turkey breakfast sausage patties

1 tsp garlic powder

black pepper, to taste

1 cup broccoli, steamed and softened and cut into bite size pieces

1 refrigerated 9″ pie crust

(You can also add salt to taste, but with the pie crust, cheese, and sausage there are already hyper-tension levels of sodium in this thing.  Ease up.)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Put pie crust into a 9″ pie pan or whatever you have.  I used the classiest dish in my apartment – a disposable aluminum tin that I have had leftover from making some kind of dip for a party a few months ago. Beat eggs, egg whites, and skim milk in a mixing bowl.  Chop turkey sausage into bite size pieces. Stir cheese, sausage, onion, garlic powder, black pepper, and broccoli into egg mixture. Pour egg mixture into pie crust.  Bake in oven for 45 minutes.  Remove and let cool.

Eat Up!

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Banana Bonanza

so good a monkey would eat it

Ok, so I know I said I wouldn’t make anything from scratch… but I lie sometimes.  These suckers were made from scratch because I had old mushy bananas.  Sue me.  PS. Please don’t sue me.

I baked some banana muffins since I had the day off tomorrow.  I thought it would be nice to wake up to a yummy muffiny breakfast.  Oh, did I mention I’m starting a diet, like immediately, and would not be able to eat baked goods after New Years.  These were my last hurrah.

Banana Muffins – makes 12

3 mushy bananas, mashed

1.5 cups ‘self rising’ flour

1 egg, beaten

1/3 cup butter, melted

3/4 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 375 degrees and line muffin tins.  Combine melted butter, eggs, and mashed bananas.  Stir in flour.  Now, I just had self rising flour in my cabinet because I bought it accidentally for my sugar cookies.  I couldn’t even tell you how much baking powder/baking sugar/salt to add to these muffins in real life with all purpose flour.  Sorry.  You can go look it up.  You’re on the internet, google it.

Once the muffins were in the tins, filled about half way, I sprinkled the tops with a little bit of cinnamon and some crunchy sugar to give the cakes some texture.  Bake for about 18 – 20 minutes.

Now… I decided that six regular muffins were enough.  I added some mini chocolate chips to the rest of the batter and made some banana chocolate chip mini muffins.

I baked these for about 10 minutes.  They’re so delicious.  I mean, look at those teeny chocolate chips peeking out of the top.  They’re adorable and delicious.
Also, I know that the shadows on these pictures are ridiculous.  I’m not a food photographer, so this is what happens.  I have crappy lighting and I don’t care.  I Instagram these pictures so they look a teeny bit better than real life.

I’m going to go eat all these muffins now.  Happy New Year!

Breakfast for Dessert – Blueberry Pancake Cupcakes with Maple Frosting

Whats breakfast without bacon?

So Friday night I decided to make these cupcakes. Why?  Just because… just because I wanted to eat something DELICIOUS.  Hiiii ooooh.  I’ll be here all week.

Anyway, I found an awesome recipe for blueberry pancake cupcakes here (http://www.yourcupofcake.com/2011/08/blueberry-pancake-cupcakes.html) and I felt like I must have them in my mouf.  So, since I’m not a from-scratch-er I figured that a butter pecan cake mix base would be delicious and taste like a pancake.  I also decided that her recipe was missing bacon.  Because really, any recipe where ‘bacon’ isn’t an ingredient is missing bacon.  Bacon 4 Lyfe!  In retrospect I would have cut down a bit on the cream soda and added a bit of sour cream to the cake mix.  It tasted like breakfast but not as much like a pancake as I wanted it to.

Cupcakes:

1 box butter pecan cake mix

12 oz diet cream soda

1 cup frozen blueberries

Frosting:

1.5 tsp imitation maple extract/flavoring whatever you want to call it

4 oz cream cheese

1 cup butter

3 – 4 cups powdered sugar

Bacon and cinnamon and sugar for garnish

Makes: 24 cupcakes, your belly happy

Defrost and rinse your blueberries.  They don’t have to be room temperature but they shouldn’t be frozen.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Or you could be like me and have  your oven already warm from baking bacon.  I have never baked bacon before… its like a miracle.  It came out so super crispy and amazing.  This was life changing for me.  You will also want to line your cupcake tins

Combine diet soda and cake mix until it resembles batter.  It should actually be batter, and not just a resemblance.   Fold in your blueberries.  Fill liners and bake for 15 – 17 minutes.  You also have to accept that the blueberries are going to sink while baking.  Just try to be as zen about it as possible.  Pretend you did it on purpose.  Whatever you have to do to get through it.

While the cupcakes are baking make your frosting.  Whip the maple flavor, butter, and cream cheese until fluffy – FLUFFY G*D DAMMIT!! Then stir in your powdered sugar. If necessary you can thin it with a little bit of water.  Like, a tsp at a time.  Don’t dump a bunch in or your icing will be like New Orleans after those levvies broke.  Too soon?  Sorry.

When the cupcakes are cool pipe on your frosting and sprinkle with some cinnamon and sugar.  Really, the cinnamon and sugar are optional but I really recommend that you do it. It makes it extra breakfasty.  You can also stick some bacon on it if you’re down with breakfast meat in your dessert.  We are at my house, so we baconed the hell out of them.  Worth it!