Devil’s Food Cream Cheese Cookie Bars

I don’t have a cute little story as to why I made these.  I guess I was just browsing the internet and came across a recipe for cheesecake brownies.  http://www.browneyedbaker.com/2011/08/04/cream-cheese-cheesecakebrownies/http://www.browneyedbaker.com/2011/08/04/cream-cheese-cheesecakebrownies/

I mentioned these to DJ yesterday and have been hounded ever since.  I was too lazy to go to the grocery store and had Devil’s Food cake mix in my cupboard.   So… here you go!  These turned out to be delicious so I don’t regret my laziness.  God works in mysterious ways.

Recipe –

Devil’s Food cake mix

1/3 cup oil

2 eggs

8oz cream cheese

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1 egg white

2/3 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine cream cheese, egg white, 1/4 sugar, and vanilla until blended and creamy.   In separate bowl stir Devil’s Food cake mix, oil, and eggs until you create a thick dough.

Spray a large baking dish with pam, or grease, or whatever.  Lube up that baking dish.  Pour about 2/3 of the cake mix batter onto the bottom of the dish and spread until flattened out.  Glob spoonfuls of the cream cheese mixture on top of the batter.  Kind of dredge a knife through the batters to marble the cream cheese and cake mix into each other.  Then blob the remaining cake mix batter on top.  Then sprinkle the chocolate chips on top.

Bake for 25 – 30 minutes until entirely cooked through.   Let cool completely.Cut and serve.

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Red Velvet White Chocolate Chip Cookies

Super gooey and amazing

So, when a girl is invited over for dinner its her duty to bring something delicious with her.  I’m visiting with my BFF, her husband, and their new puppy tonight!   I’ll be wearing lounge pants and won’t be brushing my hair.  Thats just how I do things.

Anyway, these cookies are so good.  And equally easy to make.  I don’t normally like white chocolate but for whatever reason when it is combined with red velvet, white chocolate becomes delicious.

Recipe –

1 box red velvet cake mix

2 eggs

1/3 cup canola oil

2 tbsp water

2/3 cup white chocolate chips

Combine the first 4 ingredients until well mixed.  For some reason the red velvet cake mix was SO thick that I was unable to mix this up.  It could be that I spent an hour this morning lifting weights and my arms are like jelly. Whatever the reason, I had to have my big strong boyfriend come mix these for me.  As such, he can now claim that he made these cookies and that he is an excellent baker.

Once the ingredients are combined, stir in the white chocolate chips.  Using a cookie dough scooper, put dough balls onto a cookie sheet.  You can choose to not use the cookie dough scoop, but your fingers will be stained a vibrant red.  Its up to you, messy hands.  Do whatever you want.

dough balls

Bake the cookies at 350 degrees for 9 – 10 minutes.  Mine were done around 9 1/2 minutes, but I doubt an extra 30 seconds would really do any damage.

Gobble these cookies as soon as they’re cool enough the handle.  The white chocolate chips are so melty and creamy and amazing.  Definitely worth the red fingers.

Salted Caramel Is My Boyfriend

First of all… OMG.  Second of all… OMG.

Now that I’ve gotten that out I will tell the tale of this amazing cookie.  I got home from work, had some cuddle time with DJ, and then made us a steak sandwich dinner. I sat, digesting on the couch, and lept into cookie making action.  I needed chocolate salted caramel in my life and in my mouth.  Luckily for me I had purchased weird little caramel chips from Walmart a few weeks ago.  Judge me all you want, but groceries at Walmart are cheap as shit and they have weird things like caramel chips.  (They were with the regular chocolate chips, if you’re going to look for them)

So I looked up a recipe and decided that I’d modify it a teeny bit and make Chocolate Pretzel Salted Caramel Cookies

3/4 cup wheat pastry flour

3/4 cup all purpose flour

1/3 cup sugar

1/3 cup brown sugar

7 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

5 tbsp margarine

1/3 cup vanilla yogurt

3/4 cup caramel chips

1/4 cup chocolate chips

1 oz honey wheat pretzels, crushed

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

other salt – as much as you want

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Melt the margarine (I used the microwave, the recipe calls for melting it on the stove… who has time for that) then stir in the sugars and cocoa powder until it combines into a thick paste.  It will resemble brownie batter.  Also, it will taste like brownie batter so try not to eat it all.  Then stir in the yogurt and it will totally ruin the texture of the delicious brownie batter but I guess its for the greater good.

Combine all the dry ingredients in a separate bowl.  Stir dry ingredients into the wet ingredients – Segregation Never! Integration Now! – and then stir in all the various caramel and chocolate chips and then add the crushed pretzels.   The dough will be pretty thick and thats a good thing.  Roll into balls and put them on a cookie sheet.  Sprinkle with generous portions of salt.  I like a lot of salt so I just dumped it on.  What?  What do you mean ‘hypertension’?  Pfft.   Bake for 10 – 12 minutes and cool.

This is only supposed to make 20 cookies, but I think it will make a lot more.  Also if you can’t find the caramel chips then just buy those regular caramel candies and wrap the dough around the caramels.  Be careful when they come out of the oven because they will be molten lava.

Recipe modified from: http://www.pastryaffair.com/blog/2011/1/12/chocolate-salted-caramel-cookies.html

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

may contain nuts

So I bought a baking stone from Bed Bath and Beyond the other day.  Why?  Because adults buy pizza stones and then never use them.  Its a fact of life.  I removed it from the packaging and out flopped a little recipe card for things you can bake on your pizza stone.  One of which was a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie recipe.  So, you know, why not.

3/4 cup shortening (I used butter flavored crisco)

1 1/4 cup self rising flour

1/2 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup peanut butter

1 egg

2/3 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Combine shortening, sugars, peanut butter, egg, and vanilla until mixed through.  Stir in flour until combined.  Add in chocolate chips.  I *MIGHT* have thrown in a handful of peanut butter chips that I had in the freezer.

Roll out dough into small balls, place on baking sheet, bake for 13 – 17 minutes until golden brown.

Eat.

Now… I don’t particularly like these cookies.  I mean, they’re tasty, but not as delicious as I’d hoped.  I mean, sure, I’ll eat them… but meh.  I think its the crisco in them that the recipe called for.  I would normally substitute butter for crisco, but i had a few logs of it leftover from my cookie party before Christmas.  I wanted to get this crisco out of my life so I used it.  It just has that crisco effects on the cookies, a slightly oily taste and the cookies don’t flatten out and stay soft.  They get a little powdery, like a pie crust.

Anyway, these are good.  I won’t make them again.  I made the batter to keep in my freezer and make the cookies when I felt like it.  But I don’t want to be stuck with this dough until its gone.  I will probably bake a ton of them and take them into work and make my coworkers crisco-fat.

Booze Dough and Tears 2011

Girls love dips!

OK, so I’ve accepted my new love for Christmas.  I’m slowly morphing into a ridiculous Christmas sweater wearing asshole.  It’ll happen one of these days I’ll look around my apartment, filled with cats, and wonder where my youth went.  When I should have been doing Christmas shots and blowing strangers, but instead I was making sweatshirts with glitter puff paint and having cookie decorating parties.  Anyway, I had a bunch of pretty ladies come to my apartment and we made sugar cookies and decorated them.  We had glasses of spiked hot chocolate and some delightful bailey’s cocktails.  Basically, it was super fun!  I made way too many snacks for everyone involved – veggie roll ups, hummus tray, and some apple straws with caramel dip.  Best snacks ever, yo!

The recipe for the sugar cookies can be found here – http://www.crisco.com/Recipes/Details.aspx?recipeID=1328  my uncle has been using this recipe for years and its my favorite cookie of all time.  I also made some buttercream frosting using a basic recipe –

1 stick butter

1tsp vanilla

2 1/2 cups powdered sugar

whip butter and vanilla until fluffy.  Add powdered sugar until desired consistency.   Delicious.

I made this cookie for my adorable boyfriend – The Ultimate Cookie Warrior !

OOohhh Yeeeaaaahhhh brother

OOohhh Yeeeaaaahhhh brother

Christina made a bad ass rocket –

she's a rocket man

Tricia made amazing looking cookies –

look at that nerd cookie!

Ann was the only one not drinking and therefore was the most enthusiastic and completed the most cookies before being officially over it –

not drinking greatly increases your productivity.

And finally, I demonstrated how I was the most emotionally mature and refined by creating this cookie –

hur hur hur hur

Getting ready for the holidays is so much fun!